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  1. Anger is infectious.  It spreads and turns into rage quickly, like a wildfire.  When someone is angry, don’t fight fire with fire.  Back down and calm yourself first or you’ll end up burning the forest down to the ground.
  2. Avoiding your problems won’t make them go away.  They will only add up and come back to overwhelm you.  Immersing yourself in things like work, gaming, TV, drinking, or whatever else to distract you is not going to be effective in the long run.  You’ll have to face them all eventually, so face them as soon as you possibly can. Don’t run away.
  3. When something is making you unhappy, change it.  If you can’t change it, then remove it from your life.   Do that, instead of removing yourself from life.  There are other solutions.  Suicide is not, and never should be, an option.
  4. You never know when it will be the last time you ever see someone.

Recent events just gave me a lot to think about, and that’s where all of the above came from.  A dramatic, emo rant is about to start one sentence from now, so please stop reading if it’s not your cup of tea.

It hasn’t been going especially well at work or at home.  Work is well, work.  You all know how I feel about work.  It still sucks.  

One of my close friends has been missing for almost a year now.  In December, it will definitely be a year since she last disappeared.  She left home and cut off all contact with everyone.  No one knows where she is- no one’s heard from her since.

Two days ago an old co-worker of mine jumped to her death from 6th floor of her condo.  The details are still fuzzy, but they say that she left a note on her laptop, and that she was holding her cellphone when it happened.  This came as a huuuge shock for me.  She never struck me as a person who would do that and I just can’t believe it.  I can’t imagine what her family is going through.  May God help her find the peace she was seeking.

I have nothing further to say.

Work’s bringing me down as usual and I’m in a bad mood.  I’ve decided to take a day off on my own terms and since I don’t want to ruin the night, I’m going to distract myself by talking about the best day I’ve had in months.

It’s very rare, but sometimes I’ll wake up one morning feeling like, oh, this day is gonna be good.  Well, I didn’t feel it, I knew it.  That’s what happened on Friday.  Someone must have sprinkled magic pixie dust on me while I was asleep (or God must have sensed an oncoming mental breakdown and decided to do some damage control) because everything went the way I wanted it to go.  Everything.

At work, I was assigned angels.  Seriously, my patients were angels.  All of them.  Patient patients.  No complaints at all.  One of them gave me ice cream, and another a big snickers bar.  That was the trend the whole day- people giving me stuff.

On my way home (early, I might add), I literally bumped into my favorite pharmacist, who also happens to be my crush.  I stopped by the church, and the flower lady, an old woman I like to chat with, gave me that bracelet above.

I ended the day with a couple of my closest friends from high school at Moksha, got spill-your-guts-and-secrets drunk, and received a gold whistle keychain to keep me safe (they said it was an effective way of attracting attention if someone tries to mug or attack you).  I also got support only friends can give, some job offers that would let me have a change of career, and a free ride home.  

When you give, people give back without you asking for it.  It doesn’t happen all the time, but it happens.  Good night 🙂

Hi.


This is the personal blog of teskaraptor aka bananatree. Yes that's me, a 20-something nurse working in the IT field.
If you ask me to choose one word to describe myself, I would choose "weird."


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