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A few days ago I went to our city hall to get a new cedula for this year. The man at the counter remembered me from last year, and seeing that I’d written “none” in the blank occupation, he asked “you’ve been jobless for over a year?” The way he had said it, I might as well have put “lazy parasitic bum mooching off parents’ money” or something of the same nature (it’s true anyway) as my occupation. Gee, thanks for the encouragement, mister.

I wanted to say, “half of that year was spent reviewing for the board exams, a fourth spent waiting for results and my license to be issued by the slow, ineffective, and not to mention, corrupt government that you work for. A twelfth was spent recovering from an appendectomy and the rest looking for a job, with a few training programs thrown in between! How productive was 2008 for you? Wanna see a picture of my appendix?” Pair that up with a shrill voice and a crazed look in the eyes. Then add a little neck wringing for maximum effect.

I know, we long-term un-employees can be a little sensitive. Anyway I just said “yes,” paid my dues and left with my new cedula.

These past two months, I’ve lost the motivation for blogging. I don’t know why.

I’ve applied to most of the major hospitals in Metro Manila, and I’ve been attending my classes thrice a week. Despite that I’m not really busy. I do want to be, but lately it seems that I have to force myself to GET. A. MOVE ON IT.

I just feel like putting off everything. I am not exaggerating when I say that I feel like sleeping forever! Okay, maybe I am. I just want to keep lying in bed, not doing anything. Preferably for a very long period of time. Ugh.

***

Moving onto lighter things, my friend Gelo and I decided to spend some time educating ourselves on the Japanese language with the dictionaries and phrase books in National Bookstore (oh yes, we lead quite an exciting life, hanging out in National Bookstore. Please give us a job now).

One of these books had a title similar to Teach Yourself to Speak Japanese and in my opinion, contained absolutely the funniest phrases ever, considering that it’s not a humor book like Wicked Japanese for the Traveler (which I own a copy of, by the way). I doubt that there would be many situations in which I’d feel compelled to say “whose chickens are those” or “this pencil is very long,” and best of all, “the dog fell from the roof (inu wa yane kara ochimashita).”

Really. The dog fell from the roof. That makes me wonder whether some of the Japanese keep their dogs on the roof, like we do. It’s very common here in the Philippines. Seriously. I’d be in a car on a flyover and I’d look down and see a dog with a leash on a shanty house roof. Sometimes there is a small doghouse too.

Trips to bookstores will always be informative. In one short afternoon we learned that majority of the English dictionaries in National Bookstore didn’t include the word “discombobulate” (actually, none of the dictionaries there did), and that National Bookstore had its own little commercial ditty, and a very dramatic one too. Listen to it on National Bookstore radio in the branch nearest you. Yep, we are Laking National.

Happy holidays! A bit late, but oh well. I’ve been busy with Christmas and family matters, and of course, being unemployed. I am getting sick of explaining myself to relatives (same old yeah-I’m-still-jobless-no-vacancies-in-the-hospitals-yeah-I-know-it’s-so-hard-to-find-a-job-here-yeah-there-are-more-opportunities-abroad-but answer). January has to be better. Honestly, it’s becoming embarrassing whenever someone asks.

And with that thought in mind, I am giving my resume a face lift. I found this article at lifeclever.
Give your résumé a face lift

It might help, it might not, but I thought I’d share it to anyone reading this who might have the same problem as I do.

Oh and more about accidents- I managed to scald my big toe (the right one).

I’ve also had a few revelations about life and love and family and perseverance and myself, like only the holidays can give to you. I guess I will talk about that another day. Happy holidays again, and a good new year for everyone.

Alright.  Lung Center application, a disappointment.  Just like the shoes I was wearing when I went there- they were a half size too big and had heels, and it it was so difficult to walk that I had to change into flip flops (thank God I had enough foresight to bring a pair with me).  There were more than four hundred people when we arrived, all waiting to be accepted as nurses-in-training.  They only accepted three hundred.  I wasn’t included, of course.

I have, however, heard from the others that they they were divided into three batches.  The third one will start their training in June 2009.  Yes, next year.  Yes, it seems that you must register 7 months beforehand so you can train in the Lung Center, after which you must pay for more training and more miscellaneous fees.  Many are willing to wait it out, and pay everything just to be able to train there- because it’s a specialty hospital that specializes in diseases related to the lungs- because it’s that special- because if you train and work there then you will be special too.  Seriously though, it is a very prestigious hospital, a good tertiary teaching one, and it is the entire nation’s center for pulmonary diseases.  I would love to work there.

I missed the review class.  My parents weren’t very happy about it.  I don’t see why they are though, with me prioritizing job and training applications over the review.  I haven’t passed my application for the exam yet, and the review class is unlimited, meaning I can choose to attend (or miss) the classes any day I want.  I can keep reviewing for as long as I want, whenever I want.

Feels like finding a job is impossible right now.

I am not giving up though.  I am looking forward to more opportunities next year.  I am going to take some risks, and every chance that comes my way.

This is my lucky star:

my inspiration

my inspiration

Saw this one at the Converse shop in Trinoma, taken with Gelo’s pretty camera phone after we came from the Lung Center and Red Cross.  I don’t own a pair yet, but I will when I get my first paycheck.

Met up with Bayan too.  There’s nothing like friends and Christmas (window) shopping to make up for a wasted morning.

I went to Megamall today to see a dog show.  It was more of an exhibition of working dogs- bomb sniffing and personal protection, mostly of the breed Belgian Malinois.  Yes, I really have nothing to do.  My dad trains and breeds dogs like those, so yeah, he’s an enthusiast, as most of us are in the family.  This is how they look like:

bax with my dad's feet

bax with my dad's feet

That is our monster of a dog, Bax.  We didn’t have him with us, this is just an old picture.  I didn’t take any today since I was too far, and too disappointed.

It didn’t seem like anyone prepared for the show (the dogs, the trainers, the event organizers, I could go on and on).   My dad’s friends, who were invited as the judges, took over the emceeing since there was no host (c’mon, a show with no host?  Argh).  I am also very sorry to say that the quality of training of those dog was so bad that the audience found it entertaining and I started shoegazing.  6 to 7:30PM.  That is how I found out that one of the dog handlers was wearing slippers in the ring while showing his dog.  That was funny.  Why, oh why did he have to wear slippers?  I wish I was close enough to get a shot!

I was so bored that I was able to finish drawing one of the dogs on my DS:

one of the dogs at the show

one of the dogs at the show

I am quite worried about those dogs.  If dogs with that kind of training are being used for bomb-sniffing in malls, hotels, and other public places (and they probably are), I won’t be surprised if the bombs went off and there would be chunks of debris and maybe, but hopefully not, human parts flying in the air (I can recall an event like that that happened one or two years ago, cause unknown, or being witheld from the public by the government and the mall owner, or something).

I’m just saying, Belgian Malinois are a great breed as working dogs, one of the best even- with the right training, that is.

white here, gray at the end of the day

white here, gray at the end of the day. bored in my seat.

It’s People’s Day today.  People’s Day is a medical mission that they hold every month at the Heart Center.  I wish I could be a nurse there.  I spent half the day as one of the volunteers.  There weren’t a lot of patients, probably because no one wants to go to the hospital during Christmas season.  Who would want to find out that he might have diabetes just 15 days before Christmas?  You’d want to postpone it until after you’ve finished all the holiday food.  My task is to record their cholesterol results (in which you have to wait three minutes for the machine to read the data from their blood samples), and it gets so tedious that a few times every three minutes, I  keep looking down at everyone’s shoes.

My friend Mia was wearing this beautiful pair of white nursing shoes that don’t make your feet like Ronald Mcdonald’s (which most of the nursing shoes we own do).  Oh and I’ve learned never to wear a pair of shoes full of holes when in a very cold room.

I’ve been walking all day again.  After volunteer work I went to the mall with my friend Bayan.  My feet hurt like hell.  I still love walking though.  I’d walk around forever if I didn’t feel like I would injure myself.  I’d walk all around town and from town to town..

These past few days I’ve been doing a lot of walking (and getting lost).  Still on that job hunt with a few little errands thrown in.  I need something to remedy my sense of direction (or lack thereof).   Like a map.   Maybe it’s not just me, since I was with my friend Toku and we still ended up lost even after asking for directions.  I did warn him beforehand about me never knowing where to go.  I feel like my ankles are going to collapse on me.

it felt like this

like this

It was my first time boarding all three metro trains (twice) in one day.  On another day, walking from PGH to the city hall and finding out we went in the wrong direction.  Off into the rain to go get our first aid and basic life support certificates.  It was easier for Toku since he was wearing sneakers.  I was wearing my beloved jelly shoes and they didn’t keep my feet from getting wet.  They did however become very slippery to walk in (and disgusting).

manila bay

Here is a view of Manila Bay before sunset.  That’s how lost we were.

mimes at eastwood- they're saying hi

mimes at eastwood- they're saying hello

I also went to Eastwood today for the Philippine Canine Club’s Christmas party (and got lost once again looking for our car).  I saw these two “power ranger” mimes (check out the white one, he looks like a white ninja/RO assassin.  That’s almost a sakkat on his head).  They wanted me to pose with them.  I should have taken a picture of their shoes.  Damn.

Oh, and they don’t have peppermint mocha at Starbucks this year. And that is a crime.  It’s deprivation.  How depressing!

our shoes...  me and my friends

tired

All shoes shown here belong to me and my friends.  We were riding a jeep on our way to a hospital.  As you can see, everyone has comfy shoes (yes, those flip flops make you feel right at home… they also get you banned from entering most buildings, as my friend Gelo learned the hard way), since heels won’t work at all in our profession.  Today we were jobhunting, which is a task that should never be done alone, at least, if you’re a nursing graduate living in a country overflowing with jobless nurses and almost all the hospitals have a freeze on hiring even if they’re way understaffed.

By the way, I’m wearing a different pair of jelly shoes.  Soft and comfy and perfect for my feet.  I wear them everywhere.

We had plans and plans and plans and plans- all the talk nowadays is always about un-bumming ourselves.  This scene is familiar.  Nothing happened at the end of the day.

Endless worries.  I hate thinking about life and futures.